sweet dreams

i've decided i love naps. i was never a nap-taker, but as the onset of older age comes my body is liking the comfort of my 3" foam mattress topper in the mid-afternoon; well, maybe it's not so much the mattress topper (it is only 3") as much as it is just being horizontal. i run around too much. in any case i just woke up. slept for 2 hours. only bad thing: missed Little House.

speaking of Little House I think I'm learning a lot about how to be a good wife from Caroline Ingalls. Did anyone realize she's like the perfect supportive and submissive woman?!? I'm determined to be just like her...without the bun.

well, let me get to the real reason for my blog today. i just had to get this off my chest. i had a dream the other night...but for all my psyche knew it was real life.

i drempt i was around 6 to 7 months pregnant.

there was nothing in my dream that would alert my subconscience to the fact that it was only a dream. everything was completely human and normal. no flying, no falling...nothing crazy. i was just plain 7 months pregnant.

I LOVED it. i loved the feeling of my belly, especially whenever I would bend over and could feel it stop me from going any further.

i went to the meetings pregnant and i remember having a hard time maneuvering through the narrow aisles of chairs because I was so big.

i went swimming pregnant and remember feeling boyant in the water even though I felt so heavy most of the time.

i went to a play pregnant and remember feeling my belly move as i laughed, and how my laughing would be good for my baby. (laughing releases endorphins into the blood stream...not that i wanted my baby to be hopped up, but a little natural high I'm sure would be theraputic)

i went shopping pregnant and remember how cute i was in my cool pregnant clothes ( jeans and a red shirt).

my psyche got attached to how it felt to physically be pregnant. when i woke up and found i really wasn't pregnant at all, i was depressed. i mean, i was really depressed people.

i told my husband and would you believe he almost started laughing. he did end up composing himself and to his credit he did the best job he could at comforting me over something that never happened.

does the male ever really realize whats all involved when they want to get married? do they realize woman are complex, emotional creatures, and will need comfort even from themselves!? be forwarned my male friends.

anyway, i'm amazed at what the mind can do. i've never been pregnant. yet my mind somehow created true physical feelings of what it would be like. amazing.

well, i'm done now. i feel good getting that all out. that happened last Saturday night and it's already Tuesday and I'm feeling better. no....i don't have baby fever. but at some point in my life I do want to adopt a Korean baby. but....that's a whole other story.